Disappointment is a not a pleasant feeling, I can tell you
that. Being disappointed in another person, friends, family, and your other half;
that is just sad.
However, being disappointed in oneself is even worse.
Depending on the intensity of disappointment, some people
might even become crippled. Not physically of course, but mentally and
emotionally. Dreams shattered. Motivation vanished. Their vision and perception
of the world might change, and believing in human sincerity might not be an
easy task as it was in the past.
Thinking about who’s to be blamed or what can be done to
alter the fact that it had already happened is simply a waste of time. Nothing
can be done to change the past and nothing can be done to predict the future,
so why wallow in those thoughts like it is something pleasurable?
Sure, being sad and moping around hoping someone will see
and take notice and come help us sounds like an okay plan, but in all honesty,
people don’t usually understand about the shit you are going through right
now. Well, maybe they do care, but they cannot understand. And they’re not to
be blamed because they are not walking in your shoes. How can they possible
understand? All they can do is listen, and sometimes, maybe, that is the best thing one
could do to help those feeling down. It ain’t too bad now, ain’t it?
Expecting people to fully understand us and to not only sympathize
on us is like expecting to win a lottery ticket. You can go about buying
lottery tickets your whole life and not strike even once. And you cannot even
feel bad about it, it’s wrong. You can go about hoping that everyone will
understand you, but in reality, they will (almost) never.
But sometimes, people do strike the Jackpot. If you have
someone in your life who you can really talk to, who you can pour out your
fears to, let that person know your flaws and your weakness, let them know each
and every one one of your insecurities, who just fucking understands – look up
and thank God. Keep that person near, show them love. Be grateful that you have
that one person in your life where you can just share your thoughts, deep or
shallow, without filtering them. Show them that you are grateful for ‘hitting
the Jackpot’. Let them know that they are your Jackpot, not by words, but by
action. If there’s one thing people nowadays are lacking, it’s definitely
gratitude.
But most of time we fail to realise that it’s
not so much about it really happening in real time (the here and now); instead it is about faith and believing
that it’ll happen (in the future). Like buying a lottery ticket yeah? Same goes to expecting
people to understand us, and just believing in humankind and in human sincerity;
sometimes you just have got to place some faith in them. We never know who
might end up being another perfect piece to our puzzle called life.
Maybe this is why many of us think that we have been lied to
by life. It told us that when we grow up, it will be better, more colourful
and more meaningful as you work with the norms. Maybe we might feel that some of the people out there are having a richer,
more colourful life and if they do, you ought to feel good for them. Tell them to keep doing what they're are doing
and don’t ever let the colours fade. But to some of us, it seems like things aren’t getting
better. To some of us, we were used to seeing the world as a colourful place, now all we
see is just black and white, and this is why; we have been lied to. It had thought us that perfection is to be sought after -- when perfection is sometimes found in imperfections. Like humanity being saved by the death of a framed man, whom in the eyes of the vipers it is the epitome of imperfection -- a criminals death, but to us; eternal life.
People might say “it’s your fault that your life turned out
this way, don’t blame others now. You reap what you sow” to your face. Yes,
that is true. Some of us turned out the way we are today because of past,
wrong, choices and today those choices haunt us. People will use that against
you, no matter how far you run into the future, the past is always going to
catch up. But then why is the word ‘mistake’ created? We all make mistakes. We
can apologize to the world but if we don’t apologize to ourselves, and truly make
amends with ourselves, things will never change and you’ll never restore those
colours. Change begins from within.
